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Relationship counseling: My boyfriend is shorter than me
Dear Dr. Ellen: I have a boyfriend who is a few inches shorter than I am. He seems to feel awkward at times about it. I am well known in my local area and people are interested in knowing who I am going out with. At functions he sometimes pretends that it's okay but I don't think he is comfortable. I like him a lot but how do we cope with the height issue? Please help. - Carol
Dear Carol: Most people have a picture of what they want their future mate to look like. Some people see themselves with someone blond; others prefer dark hair or redheads. Some like short; some prefer tall. Some like thin and others prefer a larger frame. I believe that it takes many failed relationships and maturity to finally understand that while being physically attracted to a person is important, the outer package is not nearly as important as the inner package. The warmth of someone's smile, the twinkle in their eyes, their personality, their sense of humor, are just some of the qualities that should connect you emotionally. It is true that some people may stare initially if there is a significant difference in height. However, when they see the respect and love that exists, they quickly get over it. How you view yourself is how people come to view you. I had a cousin from Germany who came to live in the U.S. when she was 16 years old. She was 5' 8". When she was 23 she fell in love with, and married a man who was 5' 3". I was a young teenager at the time and I remember everyone in the family commenting about their difference in height. Through the years and holidays spent together we all saw how
they looked at each other and felt the chemistry that they had. They were always so loving and connected until the day she died. As far as I was concerned, they were a couple that everyone envied. Had she or he been concerned with what other people thought, they would have missed out on a truly blessed life which included three beautiful children and 4 grandchildren. - Dr. Ellen
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