Dear Dr. Ellen: It's been a long time since my husband and I have been away on any kind of vacation without the kids. We have 4 children, ages 11, 9, 6 and 3. My husband is a salesman by profession and has won a two week vacation to France for both of us. My parents have offered to baby-sit. I know it's a chance of a lifetime, but I have never left my kids for such a long time and so far away. What makes it even harder, was that when we told the kids about the trip, my six-year-old stormed out of the room and the nine-year-old started to cry. They couldn't believe that we were going without them. My husband wants to go but I'd feel too guilty. What do you think? - Sharon

Dear Sharon: Children know exactly how to make you feel guilty and get what they want. They are the masters of this game. Children are very self-centered and believe that the whole world should revolve around them. It's up to you, as a parent, to teach them that this is not the case. If you are waiting for your children's permission to have a vacation that doesn't include them, forget it! You'll be old and gray before it happens. Children do not know what's good for them, you do. I know they want you home all the time, but they also want fast food every night for dinner. So, in spite of what they want, the last thing they need is unhappy parents who sacrifice everything for the sake of the child and then wind up divorced. The best gift you ever give your children is a loving relationship with your husband. The happiest, most well adjusted kids come from a home where mommy and daddy love each other. So feel the guilt and book that vacation. BON VOYAGE - Dr. Ellen