| |
Relationship Problems Solved Using Dr. Ellen's Programs. Over 1 Million Sold. As Seen On Oprah, Montel, Sally, The View. Solving Marital Problems Guaranteed Or Your Money Back!
Relationship Counseling: How do I get back my sensitive, caring side?
Dear Dr. Ellen: My girlfriend and I have been together for five years, and now she's moving out so we can work on ourselves to better the relationship and someday get married and have a successful marriage. My question is somewhere along those five years, I lost my sensitive, loving, caring side. She says she sees it in me & I can be that person again and I also believe it too. How do I bring that person back out and to be that way again? - Ken
Dear Ken: Some people bring out the best in us and others bring out the worst. If you've been with your girlfriend for 5 years and you've lost your sensitive, loving, caring side, my concern is that you may find it again, only to lose it after another 5 years with her. She may be a wonderful person but just a bad match for you. Let's assume however that it is all your fault (which I doubt). To get back in touch with the person you were, all you have to do is realize that there are twenty-four hours in any given day. Every day of our life begins with 86,400 seconds to do with as we choose. Each moment we spend adds up to the net worth of our entire life. How we spend each moment is our choice. You can spend your time being critical, angry and insensitive. If that's your choice, your payoff will be a woman who is cold, bitter, cynical, frightened and unresponsive. Or, you can decide that you chose to spend your time loving her for who she is, appreciating her strengths, noticing the little things she does for you, praising her for the small accomplishments, reinforcing her capabilities and raising her value as a human being. In that case, you'll have a woman who worships the ground you walk on, caters to your needs, responds to you passionately, and will never want to live without you.
I don't believe that you can better a relationship by being apart. I don't believe in the saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." I believe in "Out of sight, out of mind." Another important point to remember is that usually you lose sight of what you did in the beginning of the relationship that made you fall in love in the first place. What you did was kiss, what you did was hug, talk, listen, spend time with each other and make each other feel special. If you don't continue doing those things you wind up falling out of love. It is ACTION that causes ATTRACTION. Being apart gives you no chance of doing anything positive to get the relationship back on track. I wish you the best. - Dr. Ellen
To solve your marriage problems without marriage counseling, visit Dr. Ellen's marriage counseling home page
| |
