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Relationship Problems Solved Using Dr. Ellen's Programs. Over 1 Million Sold. As Seen On Oprah, Montel, Sally, The View. Solving Marital Problems Guaranteed Or Your Money Back!
Relationship Counseling: How do I get over my Divorce?
Dear Dr. Ellen: I want so badly to get on with my life but I don't know how to stop the pain. My wife and I are divorced. We have two children and all I want is for us to be a family again. What makes it worse is that she is currently seeing another man. How can I stop hurting? - David
Dear David: She is your ex-wife which means you are divorced and she's involved with another man. You will have to go through a mourning period just as if there was a death in your family. Disbelief, anger, depression and denial are all feelings that you are probably experiencing or will experience.
We always want what we can't have and I know she is even more desirable to you now because she's gone. I'm going to give you permission to suffer. I have talked to thousands
of men and women who have had their hearts broken and their dreams shattered. The one question they always asked me is, "How can I stop hurting?" My answer is always, "You have to hurt before you heal." Eventually, the pain might lessen and may even go away, but for a while you will hurt. There is no way to take the pain away. Sometimes people jump back into a new relationship too soon to lessen their pain. That doesn't work. You must go through the healing process to come out whole.
I can't tell you how many people have closed themselves off from having another relationship because they've been hurt in the past. Their fear of being hurt again is so great that they refuse to open their hearts to someone new. I know it's painful when a relationship ends, especially since you stood at the alter and vowed, "Till death do you
part." I believe in the expression, "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." No one enjoys being rejected, ignored, disappointed or pushed aside. But when someone you cared about does this to you, it's a wake-up call that forces you to look inside yourself and ultimately stretch, grow and gain more knowledge and understanding about yourself. You actually become a better person. As a result, you look for a better partner and become a better partner yourself. I know you are in pain right now and you may not believe this but many people have lost a love, only to discover a greater
love than the one they lost. Your past relationships prepare you for your future relationships if you allow yourself to learn from them. There is no substitute for time and in time you will open your heart again. - Dr. Ellen
To solve your marriage problems without marriage counseling, visit Dr. Ellen's marriage counseling home page
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