Dear Dr. Ellen: My husband and I have a dilemma that doesn't seem to have a solution. In order for him to have a good night's sleep he has to have a fan blowing in his face. I can't tolerate the wind on my face. I start sneezing and wake up congested with a sinus headache. I have solved the sleeping problem by turning around and sleeping at the opposite end of the bed. Some nights I have to go into another room in order to sleep well. The dilemma is our relationship suffers. We miss out on being close, talking and such as we go to sleep. Any suggestions? - Kathryn

Dear Kathryn: You are absolutely right. This is a dilemma that doesn't have any great solution. The only thing you can do is to compromise like you have been doing. There is no reason why you can't still be together talking and lying next to each other until one of you falls asleep. The other person goes into the other room to get a good night's sleep. If you both take turns on different nights, you won't feel like you are always the one who is displaced. This way your husband is contributing to the solution as well. I think the alternative of you staying and suffering with physical symptoms the entire next day or your husband not sleeping well, will do more to damage to your relationship than leaving once in a while to get your needed rest. This is a problem most people face as they get older. Snoring, heavy breathing, difficulty in falling asleep and sensitivity to sounds are issues in many marriages. I think if you have to choose to be apart, you might as well choose the 8 hours of sleep. Being cranky and annoyed that lack of sleep causes will only drive a greater wedge between the two of you. You can snuggle before you go to sleep and crawl back into your bed in the morning as well. Something else you might try is to get one of those sound machines. They have every kind of sound imaginable and he may be able to fall asleep to the sound of a fan rather than the real thing. Just a thought! - Dr. Ellen