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Relationship Counseling: I don't want to get married
Dear Dr. Ellen: I am a 32-year-old single male who is happy being a bachelor. I do not want to be in a committed relationship since I'm having the time of my life dating many different women. For whatever reason, my friends, coworkers, and even my mother, are always wanting to fix me up with "Ms. Right," so I can get married and live happily ever after. Well I've got news for them. I may never get married and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. No one ever represents this group of men who want to remain independent and free of any attachments. Maybe it's time that society acknowledges two groups, happily married and happily unmarried. What do you think? - Patrick
Dear Patrick: I certainly think it is possible to be happily married or happily unmarried. But is it also the case that because you feel a certain way
now, it doesn't mean that is how you will feel forever. I think it is a mistake for us to be
called human beings. I think we should be called human "becomings" instead. We are not static. We are always changing. I've met men and women who felt that they never wanted a baby and then a couple of years later, changed their minds. I've met people who have said that they finally found their dream home and they were never moving, only to find that years later they do. I also know people who couldn't wait to get out of school, said they would never go back, and years later they are back trying to get an advanced degree. So just because you feel that you don't want to be in a committed relationship, does not mean that you will feel like that next year or even next month. We are allowed to change our minds and, if and when you do, count yourself lucky to have people around you who care about your well-being and your happiness. - Dr. Ellen
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