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Relationship Counseling: I need motivation to lose weight
Dear Dr. Ellen: I am 45 years old. I have gained about 20 pounds, which doesn't seem like much to most of my friends, but having been a thin person my whole life, going from 120 lbs to 140 has made it impossible to get into most of my skirts and pants. I tried joining a gym but I couldn't get myself in the mood to go. So now I'm depressed and
overweight and don't know where to turn. Please help! I can't stand seeing my weight go up every day. - Nina
Dear Nina: Too many people wait until they are in the mood before they do something. Sometimes, even though you are not in the mood, you should do it anyway just so you can feel good about yourself later. For example, I too, do not enjoy physical exercise. I love to read, but I know that daily exercise is good for me especially now that I'm older. I really feel that it's important for me to engage in some form of exercise every day. Just about every day I say to myself, "I'm not in the mood today or I don't want to or I don't feel like it." Regardless of my feelings I try and get to the gym at least 3 times a week. Mind you, almost every day is a battle. My first thought is, "I don't want to," but then I still do what I have to do to keep in shape. Now, the amazing thing about this ritual is that I always feel much better afterwards. I'm proud of myself and feel energized.
If I waited until I was in the mood, I'm here to tell you, I'd NEVER go! There are many things I don't want to do. I don't want to clean my house. I hate housework. I've done it for so long. What's the expression? "Been there, done that." But I've learned that if I simply begin to clean, even though I'm thinking, "I'd rather be at the beach" or "Someday I'll get live-in help!" before I realize it, I'm done. I feel a sense of accomplishment, and I'm in a better mood.
Believe it or not, shopping is right up there with house-cleaning on my list of things I don't like to do. If I waited until I was in the mood, I probably would starve to death! So instead of waiting until you are in the mood, go back to the gym. If you can possibly afford it, hire a personal trainer to get you started for the first month. I will guarantee that your mood will change after you do the work. It is possible to change our feelings by changing our actions. - Dr. Ellen.
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