| |
Marriage Problems Solved Using Dr. Ellen's Programs. Over 1 Million Sold. As Seen On Oprah, Montel, Sally, The View. Solving Marriage Problems Guaranteed Or Your Money Back!
Relationship Counseling: I'm involved with a married man
Dear Dr. Ellen: I need some advice. I have met a wonderful man. We work in the same organization. He is married and has clearly stated that his marriage is not going anywhere. I have not become involved with him romantically, and have kept him literally hanging on until he has severed his ties. However, he and I have become very close and he depends on me for moral support. Many who know us think that we are involved romantically, but this is not so. His wife has been unfaithful, so he thinks it's fair game to see someone else. When we meet other people he never says that we are just friends, he has left some doubt in the minds of people as to our "real" relationship. He has been very supportive of my efforts but recently however, he had serious paranoia as to my popularity and ability to surpass his efforts in our company. We also have developed a church connection and both go to church together. What has also happened is that his children have become very close to me and I have no idea what they think this is all leading? The bottom line is that we are attracted to each other and he has stated that he wants to be with me. He feels inadequate now because he cannot offer me what he feels I should have. I am very fond of him and he is of me. Please offer me some advice. - Sue
Dear Sue: You must understand that most men would prefer to remain married and have an ongoing affair on the side when their marriage isn't working. It takes a lot of effort to get a divorce and split the assets. If you give in and become involved with him romantically, there is a good chance that he will never get a divorce. You really should take a stand and tell him that you care about him and want to have a relationship with him but ONLY when his divorce is final. If you don't make him choose, then you will stay in limbo forever. I believe in the saying, "Actions speak louder than words." It doesn't matter what he says. It matters what he does. If he is willing to have an affair with you while he's married, he'll do the same to you some day because he lacks character. I also believe that you should conduct your life by never doing what you would not want to have happen to you. If your marriage was in trouble, you would not want another woman stepping in until your marriage ended. He also may be very angry and lonely now that his wife has been unfaithful and is looking for someone to heal his wounds. You cannot mistake loneliness and pain for love. If I were you, I'd wait until he is free before getting deeply involved. - Dr. Ellen
To solve your marriage problems without marriage counseling, visit Dr. Ellen's marriage counseling home page
| |
