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Relationship Counseling: I'm uncomfortable saying, I love you
Dear Dr. Ellen: I have trouble telling my girlfriend that I love her. I feel really uncomfortable. I'm afraid it does not sound truthful. She says, I LOVE YOU and it is very genuine and it feels good. I don't think I am being fair to her and is it possible that I am afraid to locate the origin of the problem or if there are so many things that "prevent" me from letting her know that I LOVE HER! Please help her by helping me. I would appreciate it! - Stan
Dear Stan: If you truly love your girlfriend but feel uncomfortable saying it, FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE AND SAY IT ANYWAY! The only way you get comfortable saying something, is to say it over and over. Eventually it will become second nature.
Never confuse words, or lack of them, with emotions. I believe that opposites attract. Your girlfriend may have an easier time expressing her emotions than you do. You may find it easier to start with baby steps like, getting her a card and signing it, "I Love You."
If your discomfort is, on the other hand, a result of NOT FEELING love for your girlfriend, then disregard the above advice. In that case, you just have to be completely honest and tell her that saying, "I LOVE YOU" doesn't feel right and you need more time. It will mean so much more when you finally can say it. Do not rush words if they
don't represent your emotions. If your girlfriend was the one writing to me, I would tell her that, "Patience is a virtue." There has to be respect for each other's feelings. The one who is ready for a committed relationship or is madly in love has to wait for the other to catch up. You cannot force someone to go from point A to point Z when they are only half way with their feelings.- Dr. Ellen
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