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My wife wants more romance
Dear Dr. Ellen - I would like to know - what is romance? You see, my wife has told me that I should be more romantic, and instead of ignoring her, I decided to give it a try. I said to my wife "So tell me what kind of romantic things you like so I can do them." Her reply was "If I tell you that such and such is romantic, and then you do that, then it won't be romantic anymore." Help; please explain this romance thing to me. - Darren
Dear Darren - I always tell women to stop thinking men have ESP and can read your mind. I'm sure you've heard of a "Woman's intuition". Well it's true. Women seen to have this gift but men seem to be lacking in this area. They need to be told what a woman wants. They really do appreciate knowing what turns you on. If you are lucky enough to have a man that asks you what romantic things he can do for you, tell him! When I used to teach my classes, I used to put the word, "ROMANCE" on the blackboard, and ask the men in my class if they thought of themselves as romantic. Most of them thought I was asking if they were good in bed. Of course, they all said, "yes". But to a woman, romance is spending time with her. When I put the word "ROMANCE" on the board, the women thought about dancing close together, cuddling, holding hands while talking long walks, candlelight dinners, etc. In other words, men are X-rated, and women are PG. Men need sexual fulfillment in order to respond to a woman emotionally and women need emotional fulfillment in order to respond to a man sexually. So, my advice is to listen to tape #4, Romance is a Decision. You'll hear so many examples of what other men have done. Until then, ask your wife for a date next Saturday night. Take her out to dinner and a show. Come back home and put on some romantic music and ask her to dance. Run a bubble bath for her and tell her to relax and take as much time as she needs and when she's ready, you'll brush her hair and give her a massage from head to toe. That's romance! - Dr. Ellen
To solve your marriage problems or relationship problems without marriage counseling, visit Dr. Ellen's home page at www.lightyourfire.com
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