Dear Dr. Ellen: My husband was transferred to another state and we have to move out of our old house within the next three months. Trying to get my two kids, ages 12 and 14 to help is next to impossible. We have been in this house for years and there is so much we still need to do before moving. Do you have any suggestions on how to motivate two unmotivated kids when it comes to pitching in to help? - Sarah

Dear Sarah: The Cosby show once had an episode involving his youngest daughter, Rudy, who refused to eat her brussel sprouts. After much coaxing and pleading Mr. Cosby became annoyed. He told Rudy that she could not get up from the dinner table unless she ate her brussel sprouts, and he didn't care if it took all night and all the entire next day. He and his wife went upstairs and got ready for an evening out. Rudy continued sitting at the dinner table with the sprouts on her plate. After a while her older sister came in with her friends. They rearranged the furniture and rolled up the rug. When Rudy sked what they were doing, her sister told her that they were going to dance. Rudy asked if she could dance, too, and her sister said, "Sure you finish all your brussel sprouts." She had hardly finished the sentence before Rudy had eaten all of it. The point is, we all want to know what is in it for us if we do what someone else wants us to do. For Rudy, the reward of getting up from the table wasn't enough for her to endure the torture of eating the brussel sprouts, but the chance to dance with her sister and her friends was enough motivation.

Your children are upset because they don't want to leave their friends and would prefer to stay where they are. In order to get them to help, you will have to think of something that would be a great reward. For example: Encourage them to contribute things they want to get rid of in a family garage sale and put whatever money you make toward a vacation. Ask them for some suggestions as to where they would like to go. If money is an issue, it could be a recreational day at a theme park. The money could also be used to buy them something they have been wanting. Another idea is to tell them that once the garage is cleaned they can have a big going away party. It's not a bribe. The point is to find out what they would enjoy as a reward for the hard work that lies ahead for all of you. - Dr. Ellen