Dear Dr. Ellen: I have been a stockbroker for over 15 years and my job causes me lots of anxiety and stress. My wife has threatened to leave me for the first time in our marriage. She says that she can't stand my mood swings, which are tied to the stock market. If the market is up, I'm in a good mood. If it's down I'm in a bad mood. I don't want a divorce but I don't know how to separate my work from my personal life. Even on the weekends, I can't relax. - Lenny

Dear Lenny: Many men make the mistake of bringing their frustrations on the job home with them. What a mistake! Imagine that you have two glasses of water in front of you. One is clear and represents your personal life and the other is cloudy and represents your professional life. Why would you want to mix the dirty water with the clear, clean water? All you would end up with is two glasses of cloudy, dirty water. Why not keep them separate? If your job doesn't fulfill your expectations for the day and is a source of disappointment, don't bring it home. It's a decision you can make. Just because one part of your life isn't working doesn't mean that the other has to break down as well.

You can decide that you've done the best you can for eight hours each day, and now you will devote the rest of the day or weekend to making your home life the best it can be. Tell your wife that you are turning over a new leaf and that you intend to make the time you spend at home count every bit as much as the time you spend at work.

Everything we do in life is a decision. Once you realize that life without the woman you love will have no meaning, then deciding to give her your attention, affection and appreciation should be an easy decision. You may think that your self-worth is tied to the stock market but bringing happiness to your wife is more valuable in the larger scheme of things. - Dr. Ellen.