Dear Dr. Ellen: I want you to settle an argument. My wife says she can't stand to see me in my old, worn-out jeans and an unshaven face on the weekends. I say that since I have to be in a suit and tie all week that I earn the right to relax on the weekend. What do you say? - Brad

Dear Brad: When you dated, you got ready for the evening. You took time and effort to make sure that you looked as good as you could for her. Being presentable for her was an important part of the courtship, and courtship makes a woman feel as if she's the most important person in your life. What message does the most important person in your life get when she sees you looking great everyday of the week and "grubby" on the weekend? I'll tell you what she is thinking, "He looks terrific for his job but I'm not worth the extra effort." My advice to you is to start with a small step. Pick one day on the weekend and do what you did when you were dating. I'm sure you showered, shaved, put on cologne and wore clothing that tried to impress her. Doing this will make her feel like she matters to you and she is worth your time and effort. Ask her to go shopping with you and have her pick out something for you to wear on the weekend that she likes, something casual and comfortable. So, I guess the bottom line is that I'm rooting for you to change YOUR mind, not hers. - Dr. Ellen