Dear Dr. Ellen,
3 Weeks ago my wife and I went to marriage counseling. After the 1st
session she informed me she wanted a separation. I was devastated. We
have 2 young boys and I was crushed by the thought of losing everything
dear to my heart.
She was adamant in her decision and said there was absolutely nothing I
could say or do to change her mind. She said she had tried and tried to
get through to me but I never responded. I knew the only hope I had was
to change my behavior. But I had no clue as to how to be a better
husband and how to change. I grew up without a father around and a
mother who was bitter about a divorce she did not want. I had no
guidance, I was rudderless.
I searched on the internet for help and decided to buy your CDs (both
sets). While waiting for the CDs to come I tried my best to be non-
confrontational. They came last week and I listened to the first 4
before I asked my wife to listen to them. I was so afraid she would say
no. But I thought what do I have to loose? I bought her a portable CD
player and left the CDs on her nightstand. We were sleeping in separate
rooms. On Sunday afternoon after a heated discussion as to when I should
move out I pleaded with her to listen to the CDs. I felt they had helped
me so much to better understand what a woman wants from a relationship
and I told my wife this. I then went to work (night shift), barely able
to keep it together.
I woke up this morning (monday) and my wife came in to my bedroom and
said she listened to some of the CDs and thought it would be best if we
did not separate for now. She went from being 100% certain that a
separation was all she wanted to saying I could come back into our
bedroom.
All I can say is you are an angel sent from God to answer my prayers. I
have learned so much from listening to your CDs. It all makes so much
sense. I never had anyone give me advise on how to date or how to be a
good husband. Your words of advice and wisdom have helped me immensely.
I know I have a long road ahead of me to get my wife's heart back. I can
tell from her body language that I have a lot of making up to do. But at
least now I have a chance. I owe it all to you. I never wanted to give
up on my wife. After listening to your CDs it made me realize I still
loved her more than ever. She is my rock and I took her for granted. Her
name is Ellen too. What else can I say but thank you. You are a very
special person.
Ted Monderell
San Jose, California
Dear Dr. Ellen,
I've been meaning to write you for sometime now. My husband reached out
to you about ten months ago to find out if you were still teaching the
"Light Her Fire" seminars. Our marriage was on the rocks and our family
was falling apart. We had been going to marriage counseling for a while
and that wasn't helping at all. In fact I dreaded going because we kept
rehashing the past and it was so depressing.
I was telling my mom over the phone one day that things were not getting
better. Long story short, my husband ordered the program for him and for
me. We have listened to them over and over again and I have to say you
changed our life!
I am so grateful to my husband that he was willing to try anything to
save our marriage, but I can't tell you enough how thankful I am that
you gave us the tools to move forward. We are on fire! Our relationship
is better than ever, it's incredible. I am sending you the biggest hug
in the world because you changed our life.
Thank you for making your program. You are an incredible woman.- God
Bless.
Allison Baker
Burbank, CA.
Dear Dr. Ellen,
I wanted to let you know what has happened with my marriage. Yes! You
should know the answer....you were a blessing to find! My story was so
similar to many others and it is a long one. I will not bore you with it
all but last Labor Day my husband said to me quite out of the blue, "I
love you, but I'm not in love with you?." He said there wasn't another
woman but he was considering a divorce. Luckily for our marriage, I
didn't find out all the details (yes, there was another woman) in the
beginning of our journey, but only slowly learned of his deceit and
adultery. My husband has a problem with conflict and over the years he
let so many things fester within him about our marriage and about me
that when his brother decided to leave his wife (these brothers are
twins) he coerced him to come along. They began team truck driving and
his brother played a big part in bashing me and talking my husband into
so many evil plans with these two other women that lived on the other
side of the country. Of course my husband could have said no but he has
followed his brother's lead ever since they were little....which was
indeed been a problem for us.
At the time, he had said he didn't want to do any marriage counseling. I
decided then that I loved him so much and that I needed to change. I
blamed myself for so much of our problems but ultimately realized later
that a lot of my actions were the result of his actions - they were the
catalyst. But, the spiral downward was definitely there-we realize now
how we BOTH played a major role in it.
I prayed a lot about the changes I needed to make because I knew I
couldn't change him. And I prayed for Our Father to define my path. I
knew I couldn't do this on my own - that I would need more help so I
typed in "marriage counseling" on Google and there was your website...I
ordered your "Light His Fire" the same day because I saw that I could
possibly be helped by what you had to say and I wanted your help as
quickly as possible. Everyday I took a walk after work with you.....you
became my friend......and of course at the time I didn't think there was
another woman...but you gave me hope and helped me realize what I needed
to do. I should have listened to what you had to say a LONG time ago.
Everyone in a relationship should!
I started talking positively to my husband and reinforced how I felt
about him.....all the good things that I fell in love with. These were
soft things he had not heard in a long time. My husband only came home
three times in a four month period from Sept. to Dec. But through it all
he noticed changes in me during our phone calls...and a change in my
appearance from weight loss and just a general softening to my
character. The final result was that after another setback over the
holidays, he came home in January....asked for my forgiveness and we've
been happily back together ever since. It's been amazingly good! Of
course there have been a lot of issues we have had to deal with and it
has been difficult knowing he has been with another woman.....but he had
the strength to finally break from his brother and this other woman who
were railroading him to a life that would have probably been not what
they promised.
We know that a higher presence and the faith in our lives had so much to
do with our reconciliation and the path chosen for us....but you, Dr.
Ellen were my catalyst for moving forward and starting the change....you
helped me with my direction and steps I needed to take. I now know that
by fulfilling my husband's needs, mine will be fulfilled and already are
in the most wonderful ways.
Since my husbands return, his brother's adulterous romance has ended
(the woman saw how self-centered he was) and he did get a divorce. He is
now living with the woman my husband was seeing across the country and
it is a difficult situation because she continues to email him although
my husband doesn't respond. He is ignoring the emails....has let me look
at everything. And hopefully she will go away?. He admits he never loved
her and says he was just mad at me and with his brother's insistence
that he go where he goes (team drivers, you know) it was just too easy
to escape. I see my husband becoming stronger and more independent
because he is feeling more important.....thanks to me (and your
guidance). He is able to stand up to his brother. I've gone on and on
but wanted you to know how thankful I am that you made those CDs. I am
presently listening to them again. And we are repairing our foundation
to be stronger than ever. Thank you, Dr. Ellen. I wish you and yours the
very best life has to offer.
Kindest regards,
Isabella Lorenz
Woodland Park, Colorado
Dear Dr. Ellen:
I think it is important for me to express my gratitude to you even
though I am sure you get letters like these all the time. My husband and
I decided to call it quits. It was all very civilized and cold and we we
both happy to be done. It seemed like we had struggled with our marriage
since the honeymoon ( I kid you not). Marriage just wasn't for us.
Then I ordered your program, kind of, as a last hope and so that I could
tell myself that I had actually tried.
My husband has been working under a very strict deadline for the last 3
months so he has not actually listened to his program and yet, we are
now happier than we have been since our wedding, 6 1/2 years ago. We are
both madly in love with each other and I am really seeing again why I
fell in love with him in the first place. I can hardly believe it but I
feel it.
I can't thank you enough.
Sincerely,
Tanya Carwyn
Littleton, CO
Dear Dr. Ellen:
I listened to your programs many years ago. I was single at the time.
You were so encouraging that I knew when I met the man I wanted to be my
husband, I was going to use all your ideas. I want the world to know
that everyone to know that I am married to the most wonderful and
thoughtful man. I feel like I am still on my honeymoon. I am married for
many years and your ideas have helped my husband be attentive,
flirtatious with me, and he makes me feel like a woman.
I have thought about you every day, but did not know how to contact you.
Thank God for the Internet. I hope you get this email. I truly owe you
my life. Without your help and programs I would not be married today.
And I am not only married, but I am still on my honeymoon, and my
husband still says, "I don't ever want to stop our honeymoon and I have
never met a woman, and never will, who makes me feel more like a man
than you."
Dr. Ellen, you are the best. We have three children, who are also so
happy and I hope you read this email. I know you are very busy, but you
have made such a difference in this world. Thank you from the bottom of
my heart.
Lisa Perrone
Belleville, New Jersey
Dear Dr. Ellen,
I spoke with you several weeks ago about my situation where my husband
of 25 years told me that he loved me but wasn't in love with me and I
was devastated. I started listening to the tapes and am now into lesson
#3 three and already I'm seeing changes in my husband.
He is much more attentive and has started thanking me for things that I
do for him. I've done everything you said to do and it's made such a
difference. He is reconnecting and this morning as he walked out the
door for work, he kissed me and said he loved me. We are talking more
and spending quality time together with tenderness.
I don't know how I could possibly convey my gratitude and thanks to you,
and I haven't even given him his tapes to listen to yet. I thought I'd
wait and let him see the changes in me first and then when the time is
right, I'll see if he'd listen to them too. I know now that we will save
our marriage.
I've also shared the tapes with my twin sister, who is in a very happy
marriage, but hey, if I'd just known some of this stuff earlier, I may
not have had to go through this now. Thanks again and I will be forever
indebted to you.
Rita W.
Orlando, Florida
People always ask me, "How long will your program take before I see some
changes. So for this success story I thought I would show you all 3
emails from the same person so you could judge for yourself what a
difference 2 weeks can make once you get the right information.
June 24th- I have given much thought to leaving my husband. He puts
everything before me, his friends, family, and on top of that he has a
bachelor pad that he refuses to move out of. We have been married just
shy of two years. I am fed up with him. My parents are still married
after 33 years. I thought I could do it also. I was looking up divorce
information and I stumbled on to your site. I read the testimonials and
one of the couples shared almost the same feeling as I am now sharing so
I bought your program. I followed the first lesson although it was hard
acting that way towards someone you feel should be begging you to let
them get their act together. But not to jump ahead, I followed your
instructions. (smile)
Since my change in behavior he has said he is moving out of the bachelor
pad. I have had the CD's for almost two weeks now. I am crying as I am
writing you this email. He is excited about the moving out and he told
me he was being selfish and said he just wants me to be happy. I don't
know if I will ever be in love with him again because all of the damage
that he has done. The CD's are beautiful. I love them. When it comes to
practicing them on him, I have to say a prayer to push me to do it. I am
hoping that they will come natural and are not too late. I know
something inside made me buy them.
July 9th- Miracle -Ok now bear with me Ellen- you are not going to
believe this. My husband was treating me like a stranger. He was always
very private, but he was growing distant. He barely wanted to have sex
and the intimacy in itself had almost diminished to nothing. I was not
getting any attention from him. So when he would stay out late, I would
blow up. I did not like his friends they were always coming by announced
and always wanting my husband to go somewhere. I moved to be another
state to marry my husband. So I was angry because of most of the
sacrificing was done on my behalf.
Saturday, one of my husband's friends came over at 2:30am and wanted him
to go out. I was so livid, but I just did not say a word. My husband is
usually very quiet and this is why I was so shocked. There were12 or so
people at out house including my siblings, and my husband turned to his
friend and said "If you can not respect my wife you are not welcome in
my home. He apologized to me again on Monday.
Ellen, I went to the bathroom and cried. I could not believe it. Last
night, I was in the bed and he came to bed and said are you sleeping and
I said , "What's up?" He said, "I am stressed. I have a lot of things on
my mind, can I talk to you?" I was floored. Since Monday we have been
riding to work together. He kisses me before he gets out of the car and
I give him a little spirit finger (just for us). I am so thankful.
August 5th- You will not believe how much love we have now. We are like
honeymooners. It makes everyone sick since we were the ones who were
always yelling at each other. Ellen! thank you. I have my relationship
back. Everyone tells us in the last two weeks we are always late to
everything. We are running late because we are so busy making out before
we leave.
If I could say anything to other women it would be, "hang in there." You
can not control someone else, but the CD's started making me feel like
myself again. The homework may seem so far out of reach because of the
state of your relationship is in at the moment. My advice is to do it
anyway !
Love,
Fatima Johnson
Prattville, Alabama
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