Dear Dr. Ellen,

I am certain this is just one of many letters you receive every day, however I felt compelled to write to you. In fact this letter is long over due.

A few years ago I ordered your tape series from an infomercial at 2:30 in the morning. (Is that cliche or what?) Yet I assure you this story is true. I knew my marriage was crumbling. My husband was shutting down and refused to talk to me about his pain. Though he had not yet told me he wanted a divorce, I knew it was coming and ordered these tapes because, frankly, I liked what you said. I had 15 years into this marriage and I wasn't about to give up yet. I felt I had nothing to lose and at the very least they would help me get my own life in order. I had them sent to my mother's home and had already started listening to them as I walked every day. when he finally confessed that he did want a divorce. (Not even a trial separation) His plan was to stay in the home for a few months until he could get everything in order. Though I made it very clear that this not at all what I wanted, we agreed to live amicably and not tell our 5 year old until it was absolutely necessary. The bottom line is, I listened and listened and listened again to your tapes everyday, as I walked. If I was frustrated, I listened, angry I'd pull out a tape, crying at my wits end, I listened again. Eventually everything you said made sense. I put myself pity aside and started to look at my own behavior, making small improvements every day. I kept a positive affirmation journal. I prayed. And I followed all your advice I could, with the exception of the romantic parts. (We weren't there yet) Most of all you gave me the confidence to believe in my own strength and power: that I would not be a victim. To make a long story short...it worked.

Mid way through this I told my husband what I was doing, though he still said he wanted the divorce I could slowly see him beginning to open up. He would ask me out to breakfast, wait for me for dinner. He would come home earlier everyday. One day he even told me how hard I was making this...I told him "that's my job!"

Most importantly I started to believe...believe that it was going to work. The compliments I started to give him, the attitude changes I made, the sweetness that he fell in love with, made him fall in love with me all over again. Within four months, in fact the night before Halloween, he told me he was staying forever. He said that he loved me and that he wasn't going anywhere. (I still cry when I think of that day). I can tell you that these tapes saved a marriage, my sanity and us from having to tell a five year old that the Daddy she adored was leaving. We are eternally grateful!!!!! I can't tell you there haven't been bumps along the way, but I can tell you that when they happen , I go back to the basics, you tapes and books and put my relationship back on track. One year after this episode we would find out our daughter was molested. There were police interviews, court appearances and excruciating stress during that time. We feel that God was talking to us when we put this marriage back on track, that somehow the tools we received from listening to you kept my husband Ed and I focused on our daughter, together as a strong unified couple, at such a crucial time. If this had occurred before we ever listened to your tapes we would surely not have been able to stand strong and united, as we were during that time. Our daughter, thankfully, is doing great. You were a Godsend.

We eventually took advantage of the sex and romantic advice and things are better than when we were dating. I have since passed these tapes around to all of my friends, (sorry) and I know they have saved at least 1 other marriage and helped two or three other relationships.

Thank you again,

Pamela Deputy

Bensalem, PA