Dear Dr. Ellen: I've been married for 12 years. My husband quit his job less than a year ago to jump into real estate. He withdrew his 401K for us to live on. I continued working and supporting us financially and we used the 401K as backup. After several months of him spending and spending to get his business started we were in a position where we could no longer pay the mortgage. I didn't make enough to pay all our bills. He convinced me that if we sold our house and moved out of state we would be in a better position. We would be moving to the city and that would give him more of an advantage for selling real estate.

We packed up the kids, I left my family behind and four months later, we are right back in the same situation. I've begged him to please get another job until real estate takes off for him but he says another job will only take away the time he can invest in getting his business to success. He also says that if he gets a job it will have to be part time....but that won't pay our bills. He doesn't want me to work right now while the kids are out of school because he doesn't want to have to focus on them while he's busy "working" with real estate. I've been very supportive and still try to be but we're about to lose everything. I hate having to move the kids once again. It's not fair to them. Please help! - Sylvia

Dear Sylvia: It takes a long time to get any type of business going. Usually the spring and summer months are the buying and selling months. There are not many realtors who do well in the winter. June, July, and August are the best months in the business. If he doesn't make it in the next 3 months it's going to be a very difficult winter once again. Based on what you wrote, I feel that you have been extremely supportive of his new career. However, this cannot continue to go on indefinitely because there will come a point where you won't be able to financially catch up and your family could wind up being homeless.

My advice is to give your husband a deadline. Tell him that you will give it until September, when the kids go back to school. If there is no money coming in by then, you will both have to work full time in order to pay the bills. If he refuses, it will be time to move the children and yourself back near family where you can get some support. Every realtor will tell you that this is not a 12 month business and you really have to hit it hard when the good months come along and have a source of income for the lean ones. - Dr. Ellen