Dear Dr. Ellen: I've known this man since we were in grade school. His mom and my mom are best friends. We have not seen each other for several years but have kept in contact through phone calls and then emails, especially on each other's birthdays. We live 2 states away from each other but recently met face to face at our 10 year high school reunion. We both felt a strong attraction and had a wonderful weekend catching up on each other's lives. Just to let you know, I'm a single mother of a 10 month old baby girl. He knows that and after giving me a sweet kiss at the end of the night, he said he could see us together in the future and had no problem that I have a child. We kept talking by email but then as the months went by, it seems like he's losing interest. Could it be because we live so far apart? I would just like some feedback on your thoughts on this situation. My mom would love for us to be together, and so would his mother. Any advice would be great. Thanks. - Kelly

Dear Kelly: It may be that after thinking about it, he felt the long distance was too much of an obstacle or that the baby was more than he could handle. Many men that are in their 20's are not ready to settle down with a ready made family. My guess, and that's all it can be is a guess, is that you are not there to kiss him or be in his arms, so if he has the choice of e-mails and phone calls or someone who lives close by that he can have a relationship with, it's just easier to put his relationship with you on hold.

If money and time were no problem, then you or he could fly and see each other every weekend. But since it would be quite expensive to fly or take a great deal of time to drive, it becomes an impossible situation. I am not a fan of long distance relationships, especially in the beginning when you are trying to establish a close bond, because, most of the time, they don't work out.

I'm sure you can see him as a possible husband and father but he may not be ready and doesn't see you as someone he can just have a fling with. Being a single mom with a 10 month old baby is not easy. I assume that you have a job and a good support system where you are and it would be difficult to just pick up and relocate to where he lives. So, I think that he told you what was in his heart at the moment - that he could see both of you together in the future but, unfortunately, not the present. You can continue to keep in touch and value the friendship you have built, but as far as dreaming about him being your future husband and daddy to your daughter, I think that you are just setting yourself up for heartache and disappointment. I know it feels comfortable and familiar to be with someone who you have so much history with but, there is a big difference between keeping in touch a few times a year and sharing your lives for a weekend vs. developing a deep, passionate and loving relationship based on the present experiences you share on a daily basis. You deserve to have a man who loves you with all his heart and soul and don't you dare settle for anything less. You and your daughter deserve that. As for your mom, it is every mother's dream to see her daughter loved and happy. If that could be with her best friend's son, all the more wonderful that dream is. But, in this case, it is better left as a dream. - Dr. Ellen