| |
Relationship Problems Solved Using Dr. Ellen's Programs. Over 1 Million Sold. As Seen On Oprah, Montel, Sally, The View. Solving Marital Problems Guaranteed Or Your Money Back!
Relationship Counseling: My relationships just don't last very long
Dear Dr. Ellen: I can't seem to keep any man's attention for any length of time. Things seem to be going well for about 3 months. The guy seems to like me and then, it's the same story. He's too busy with his job, his hobby, his ex, and any other excuse he can think of. What am I doing wrong? - Theresa
Dear Theresa: Many men and women who have written to me complain that they can't seem to hold anyone's attention for very long. They have been dumped (their words, not mine) repeatedly for someone else. Because they've been rejected so many times they are often in a great deal of emotional pain. When I read their dating history, I concluded that most of them felt they NEEDED to be in a relationship and their expectations from a person that they hardly knew were just too great. That is the problem. There's a big difference in wanting or choosing to be in a relationship and NEEDING to be in one. Desperation is a big turn-off for most people. Most emotionally healthy men and women want to be in a relationship with a complete person. When you develop your own goals, interests and views, you become a whole person in your own right. Being an independent person makes you more desirable. When a man or woman gives up everything trying to please the other, they usually lose, not only themselves, but the person they were interested in.
So let's say for example that every Tuesday and Thursday you work out at the gym. Every time you get into a relationship you give up working out on these nights because you want to be with your new love every minute. Always being available will make you less desirable than if you continue to do what you normally do. The next time that you begin a relationship, try keeping yourself busy. If you focus on your work, develop hobbies and interests and cultivate friendships, you honestly won't be available. It won't be an act. You'll feel better about yourself and I can assure you that you'll be more respected and valued by others as you also try to juggle your schedule to fit this new man
into your life. - Dr. Ellen.
To solve your marriage problems without marriage counseling, visit Dr. Ellen's marriage counseling home page
| |
