| |
Relationship Problems Solved Using Dr. Ellen's Programs. Over 1 Million Sold. As Seen On Oprah, Montel, Sally, The View. Solving Marital Problems Guaranteed Or Your Money Back!
Relationship Counseling: She is jealous for no reason
Dear Dr. Ellen: I want to break up with my girlfriend but don't know what to tell her. She is driving me crazy with her jealousy. We've been going out now for 2 years and I've had it. She gives me the third degree every time I'm with my friends and accuses me of infidelity. I work with a lot of females and if I go out to lunch with them she's on my case. I just want to know what to say so that I don't hurt her. - John
Dear John: She will be hurt no matter what you say. Tell her truthfully why you want to break up. Many times when someone wants to end a relationship, they aren't honest about the reason. Rather than hurt someone's feelings, the person may say something like: It's not you. It's me; I don't know why; I don't want a serious relationship right now or I just need space. These kinds of vague excuses may lessen the hurt initially, but they do more damage by continuing to give the other person hope that maybe you'll come around and change your mind.
If she's overprotective, it is exhausting for you to hide any friendships you may have with females. It's exhausting to keep reassuring her that you are faithful. I see this happening all the time - a woman thinks that jealousy is proof of her love. In reality, it is proof of insecurity, and an insecure woman is not very sexy or attractive to the opposite sex. Some jealousy is normal in any love relationship. Every woman wants daily reminders that her mate won't find someone else, outgrow her, or find other people and activities more exciting and interesting than she is.
But extreme jealousy will eventually ruin a perfectly good relationship. If a man has friends, interests, obligations, and activities that take time away from his girlfriend, it is her constant accusations that will drive him away, not those other people, interests, or activities. It is quite normal for her to ask, "Who was that on the phone? How come you're home so late? or Anything interesting happen today?" When you answer openly
and honestly, it's not appropriate to keep getting grilled or be accused of not telling the truth. Eventually her fear becomes a reality because you can't stand it any longer.
At least if you are completely honest with her, she has a chance of becoming a better girlfriend next time. The end of a relationship often brings heartache and pain, but there's a lesson to be learned from the despair, humiliation, and loss that a person experiences. It will force her to look inside and ultimately stretch, grow, and gain more knowledge and understanding about herself. You are truly doing her a favor if you tell her the truth, although she won't think that at the time. Who knows, you may even be attracted to her
again if she is able to change. - Dr. Ellen
To solve your marriage problems without marriage counseling, visit Dr. Ellen's marriage counseling home page
| |
