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SUCCESS STORIES Marriage was falling apart Dear Dr Ellen, I just wanted to give you some feedback about the results from your program. You may recall I was having a terrible time with my husband staying out after work and drinking. Our marriage was falling apart because I felt he didn't want to spend time with me anymore. I ordered your program but before it came, my husband and I went on our annual 3 week family holiday to the coast, where we had some very honest conversations. Basically he said he felt tied down and if this was what marriage was, he didn't want to be in one anymore. So I came back home feeling very lost. My husband went on his annual trip to visit his parents while the kids returned to school. Then your program arrived. I watched the free DVD first and realized that all this time I had been blaming him for his bad behavior, yet I never looked at the reasons. I saw that I had made some huge mistakes in my own behavior and treatment of him. I then started listening to the CD's and all the while putting into action a few of your suggestions. When he returned from his trip, I could see he was thinking, "this woman has gone mad" but, by the third day he was responding! The very first thing you said that hit home to me was, "You cannot change other people, only yourself." After hearing that I really thought, "Well what's the point then in me listening to this program since he is the one that needs to change, not me. Then, as I went more into the program and saw the results in my marriage, I understood. And I really needed to change a lot because I didn't realize how my head was filled with negative thoughts all the time. And I mean all the time! Now, I am a happier person and my husband is happy to come home to me! What a difference Dr Ellen. We are communicating so well and have discussed in detail what was happening between us last year, and do you know it was MISCOMMUNICATION. I thought he didn't enjoy my company anymore. He was going through terrible pressure at work and he didn't tell me, because I didn't make myself available to just sit and listen. When he got home I was either hounding him for something he had or hadn't done, or I ignored him because I had all these "chores" that I felt he should be helping me with. Or if I did sit, I was offering him advice he didn't want! He was feeling excluded at work and excluded at home. So I just wanted to let you know that our marriage is healing. I am only on CD #6 and I know he is getting more and more curious about them. He'll say "Did you listen to one of your tapes today? What did you learn?" He comes home early and we sit outside on the patio sharing about our day, relaxing with a glass of wine. His work problems have come to a head (he is in a problematic partnership) but for the first time in months he is enthusiastic about finding a solution. And all because I sit down and then shut up! I am looking forward to the rest of the program and when I get to the end, I'm starting at the beginning again. In case I forgot something valuable! Thanks so much for all that you have done. We both said last night that it's been 3 years since we were this happy! I'm so glad I found you. Thank you again. Leanne Watt Johannesburg, South Africa To solve your marriage problems without marriage counseling, visit Dr. Ellen's marriage counseling home page |
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