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SUCCESS STORIES A Military Wife's Love Story Dear Dr. Ellen, First, I would like to tell you that at this time, my wonderful husband is in the military and is currently deployed. I have always wanted to write you and tell you just how much you have done for me, not only in my marriage but in my life!!! I was bragging to my wonderful sister in-law and she went and found your website. I am now so excited to be able to write to you and thank you for everything!!! I tell everyone that will listen that there are two entities that came into my life in the beginning of our relationship that I give all the credit to for being married today. The first of course is/was God the second was you. I would like to give you a little history on the beginning of our relationship. When my now DH (darling husband) and I first met I was 18 years old and had a 6 month old baby. My family owns and runs several apartment complexes. When we first met I was living with my mother who was and still is the manager of one of those complexes. At that time I would have to describe myself as a young punk who was an overweight teenager with a foul attitude. My mother knew a fellow who had a younger roommate who wanted to move into this complex. My mother and her friend got the bright idea it might be nice for us if we started dating, but when my mother pointed him out, my first thought was, NO way! NOT now! NOT ever! At the time I was still into the stoners with their long, beautiful hair and wild ways. Here was a MAN that was starting to go bald with a high and tight military haircut. He didn't drink, didn't smoke, and drank tea instead of coffee. The bottom line to me was that he was the biggest square I had ever seen! Then my mother and her friend had an idea of having us come over for a movie night complete with popcorn. I said, "Okay." My now DH was very quiet but very pleasant to be around. I still wasn't interested in dating him until this quiet, still little voice that I can now only attribute to God, came into my head and asked me, "So how have the guys you've been dating working out for you?" Well, I answered, "Not so good right now. They only seem to be interested in me just to get one thing." Like I said previously, I was a bit overweight and now had a kid. Most guys wanted girls who were thin, pretty and someone they could party with. Then the voice asked "Ok and what do you have to show for it" and I answered, "Not much! Just some heartache and the responsibility of a child to raise by myself." Then it said so very quietly, almost in a whisper "Why not try something new." It was as if the lights had all been turned on and the blinders lifted from my eyes and I could see my now DH in a whole new way. We began dating and for the first time I felt what it was like to be respected. He didn't touch me until after we made it official that we where dating and even then it was only to kiss or hold hands. It was weird and currently different to be with a MAN that wasn't trying to get into bed with me at every turn! He also took the time to listen to me. After we had been dating pretty seriously for 3 months I was doing everything wrong, especially trying to change him. Then one night I saw you on TV and decided to order your program. I now say thank GOD I did. As soon as I got it in the mail I started listening to it right away and the whole way though you had me laughing or crying, as well as feeling very sad because I was truly being awful to my sweet heart!!! I started changing everything right then and there from the first day I got your cassettes and the change in how he treated me was amazing! But then you already know that. What I didn't know was that, about that same time he was thinking about breaking up and for good reason. When he saw a 180 degree change in me, he decided to stick around a bit longer. I have to tell you this last part because it's obvious we are married now, but February 14th, 1997 I was just sitting on the couch like any other day. We really didn't make any plans and I didn't really care. It's like you say, "Every day can be Valentine's Day if you want it to be and if you look for it!!! When he came to my door, I answered it and went back to the couch. He proceeded to follow me and instead of sitting next to me, he knelt down in front of me. I rolled my eyes, laughed and said, "What are you doing?" He handed me an open box of those Mini Conversational Heart candies and said, "Open it and read them." I asked "What is this?" He said "just read them!" It was only about half full and I thought he was just messing around but I had learned enough from you by then to do as he said and as I took those little candies into my hand, I saw that every one of them said "Mary Me" (that's why the box was only half full.) That's all he could find, out of the15 other boxes to fill this one. Of course I jumped up and said YES!! It was the most incredible thing that I thought had ever happened to me. At the time it really was and none of it would have happened if I had not found your simple teachings on those cassettes. I do not read much and your simple assignments have forever changed my way of thinking and my way of life!!! That was 11 years ago. As of the day I am writing this we just celebrated our 10th anniversary and the only way we could be happier at this moment in time is if he wasn't half way around the world. I still miss him and always will until he comes back home! So now I have so much to thank you and God for; God for bringing him into my life and telling me to try something new and you for giving me the tools to treat him as a man should be treated. My only problem with all of your wonderful teachings is that now all the single guys that are overseas with my DH are jealous of him. Also, every time I see a female abusing her man, I want to cry for him, then scream and yell at her! I have found that I can almost always get anything and everything in life that I want and need, within reason, of course. It has also helped me when it has come to our/my military life here with and without my DH. My friends don't understand how I can get so much done and when things go wrong how I can handle everything so calmly. I tell them all the time to go get your cassettes/CDs and they can learn to be like that too. I don't know if they don't think they can put it into practice like I have, if they just don't like being nice to people or if they're just plain lazy. Regardless of why, I'm still the one they come too, (it's nice to be needed I guess.) I know it was I that was open minded about your teachings and it was I that chose to work the magic you teach so well but it is I that now that has to thank you from the bottom of my heart for teaching this bitter, angry, and many times vicious, punk kid teenager, what it is to truly grow up and live up to being a woman and to have true power and all the happiness I could ever ask for as a woman. I never dreamed in my wildest dreams or would I dare to dream, that I could be as happy as I am now. I am always talking about you and what you teach. My family has nicknamed me E.C. at times which stands for Ellen's Clone because I won't stop talking about you and what you have to say about everything. I will end this letter by saying this is one little girl that got your messages loud and clear and put each and every one of them into practice. I thank you for helping this girl grow up to be a healthy, happy, vivacious friend to the best friend and lover I could ever have. I will never have to worry about him going anywhere. Thank you for making us, "Lifers!" Bottom line, I could never thank you enough for having the gift of gab, for finding and possessing the knowledge that you have and having the most wonderful talent to teach it and pass it on the way you do. So thanks so much again!!! Shelly Ross - Denver, Colorado To solve your marriage problems without marriage counseling, visit Dr. Ellen's marriage counseling home page |
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